The Identity Reset Freelancers Need to Attract Better Clients & Higher Rates with Mindi Huebner #274

Mindi Huebner 0:00 This is the pre strategy strategy, right? It’s getting clear on your identity, how you’re showing up, what your mindset is, your relationship with marketing, right, like all of that, in order to then really cast votes towards that next version of yourself, Emily Reagan 0:23 Hey, welcome back to our show. It’s Emily here, a fellow freelancer, and I’m here closing the year with a really big guest who’s going to help you break down the identity gap. It’s that space between who you’ve been and what she calls the 24 karat version of yourself, the one who leads clients, sets boundaries, stops shape, shifting into whatever people need, doing whatever work for whatever client, saying yes to everything, and the one who charges well and acts like an expert. So if you’ve ever wanted better clients, if you’ve wanted higher rates or more respect and your daily actions don’t quite match that version of you. That’s what Mindi Huebner is talking about today. It’s this identity reset that we all need to do. Perfect timing with 2026 we go into a deep subconscious patterns. Mindi has a quiz that’s going to help you identify which one you are. I want you to take the quiz. I want you to tag us on Instagram. Our handles are in the show notes. It’s Emily Reagan PR, and then it’s Mindi Huebner. You spell her last name, H, U, E, B, N, E R. If you go to my Instagram, we’ll be promoting her the whole week of this episode. So tag us and let us know which one you are. Feel free to DM too. I really tried to make this episode be about where you are, the struggles and pain points of a marketing freelancer, the one who’s doing the work, I think you will find it pretty helpful. And so a lot of us have been overworking, over delivering, trying to prove ourselves, playing small, keeping ourselves from success, and we’re missing this, this pre strategy. It’s like a pre, pre strategy for really attracting the better clients and getting into that work. So let’s get into it with Mindi. This is how we’re kicking off 2026 we have Mindi in the house to help us really unbox ourselves, own our superpower. And you know me, you know this podcast. It’s all about knowing your worth, your works worth, and charging appropriately working with clients who recognize and value you, and it all comes together. And I am so freaking excited to have Mindi here to talk about this. And this is so much more than mindset. Mindi, let’s start with a little bit about who you are and what you do in this world. I always love to hear how people get online like what they did in the past, and what is your business now. Mindi Huebner 2:39 Okay, brilliant. I have taught, coached, mentored my entire adult life. I was in sales for 17 plus years. I still remember the email that came that changed everything. My division shut down, and all of a sudden I was like, wow, who are you and how you gonna make money, because that door just closed. Relatable, yeah, yeah, that was a moment of now, like, Thank you, right? Honestly, because what I realized then was that I believed that rest was lazy, that the only way to make anything of yourself was to work really hard in hustle. 24/7, do I now believe that there’s times for aligned hustle? Of course, am I saying that we don’t have to work hard? Not saying that. I’m saying there gets to be more ease in it when our mindset and identity are in alignment with what we’re believing, right? Like those things get to come together, as opposed to be at odds with each other. And that’s when I went down the rabbit hole of collecting certifications, life coaching, health coaching, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Reiki, rapid rewire, NLP, like all the things to then go from health coaching to life coaching to mindset coaching to identity coaching, and they’re all tangled up together because now I coach high achieving women, ambitious women established in business, founders and CEOs that are tired of the conditioning that’s keeping them proving performing, feeling pressure, success is not looking like what they had dreamed of, and they want to lead from their most authentic, sustainable self. And so that work includes health coaching and life coaching and mindset and identity coaching, because I because I honor the woman that I work with, right? And so sometimes that’s about a relationship, and sometimes it’s about her health goals, and sometimes it’s about because all of those things also support the business, right? Like the human runs the business. Emily Reagan 4:56 It all comes together. It’s a big holistic like ecosystem. In there. Okay, you had me at The Proving energy, the high achieving, the need to do to be productive. These are the people listening, because, let’s face it, it’s way easier to be an employee and sit around and clock in and clock out and be told what to do. And so the people who are listening to this podcast have that ambition they’re industrious. It’s in their blood. And then all of that comes with it. I know it. I know it. Mindi Huebner 5:28 Yeah, exactly. And so we get to then meet at the intersection of, Am I proving performing, feeling the pressure, because of the conditioning, because of an identity that I have taken on that is no longer serving me, right? It got me here. It’s not sustainable. It’s not going to get me to the next place. And this is what I find in my work. So mindset, right? Let’s, let’s talk about that difference, because we will talk about both. Mindset is what you think, identity is who’s doing the thinking in just a really like, simple terms, mindset shifts your thoughts, right? Identity works with the self behind them. And so identity is much deeper than thinking a thought, right, like and what my thought is. I also like to say, mindset is our relationship with something, what we think about something. Identity is our repeated way of being. So think about the times when these are out of sync. We might think, right, oh, drinking water, like staying hydrated. This is a really, like, right? Like, we know research says we think we have this mindset around it, and yet we’re never drinking water. Our repeated way of being is like, give me another coffee. Like, I hate the way water tastes. See how when they’re Yeah, same. I also though, have water. I have of all the beverages. Emily Reagan 7:02 We’re not we’re not working from home unless there’s at least three. Mindi Huebner 7:05 Okay, wait, so we might as well, you got your smoothie. Facts. So mindset and identity separate things. They are kissing cousins, right? And we want them in alignment with each other and with other things, we’ll talk about SMART goals and why SMART goals are missing the mark as well. Because subconsciously, we operate 95% of the time. So if we’re thinking, let’s do a metaphor that is not original to me. However, it’s the ant and the elephant. And so the ant is 5% this is your conscious brain. This is you setting a goal, right? Writing it down. I want to achieve X. I want this many clients. I want this much income, right? Like the 5% of your conscious your brain is doing this. 95% is the elephant. And this is saying it’s safe to be who we were. It’s predictable to keep at the level that we’re already at. It’s familiar to not ask for the sale, to not be the leader. It’s familiar to be the doer, as opposed to leading the client, which is ultimately what we want to do, because we’re the expert, right? Like they hired us because we’re the one that’s got the goods, so we get to lead them down the path. Emily Reagan 8:25 Yeah, So it’s not in congruence, like, it’s not Mindi Huebner 8:29 Exactly, exactly. So if we’re saying, oh, yeah, like, right, 5% is like, this is my goal, and I’m going to be the leader, and then our subconscious, the 95% is like, You’re a liar. We’re not. We don’t feel safe doing that. Safe, quote, unquote safe, right? We don’t feel safe doing that. So we’re gonna stay in the familiar we’re gonna stay in our known zone. And so where does SMART goals miss the mark? We set the goals with 5% of the operating system, right? We put it all out on paper, then 95% of the operating system comes in and goes, who dis like? What do you mean? This is way out of what feels predictable and familiar to us, and your subconscious keeps you in the predictable and familiar, because that is the path of least effort, even when you don’t want to be there anymore if you’re not tuned into it. So smart goals do not take into account your subconscious. When we align our conscious and our subconscious, we now have the secret sauce to make smart goals work. We are using our superpower of our subconscious identity. So knowing your subconscious identity and how you’re showing up is vital Emily Reagan 9:40 Okay, and that’s what we’re going to talk about here. Tell everyone what a SMART goal is. We have talked about that on the podcast. I don’t teach that. Let’s get a refresher Mindi Huebner 9:48 Specific, measurable, achievable. I can’t think of what R is off the top of my head, but T is timed, Emily Reagan 9:56 relevant or relevant. Mindi Huebner 9:58 I’m like, what is R? Yeah, so. So those things are good. That’s a good framework, right? Then we’re going to stick on top of that framework. My favorite question to ask when we’re talking about hopes, dreams and schemes, my least favorite question to ask when we’re talking about how we’re getting in our own way all the time. Okay, so my favorite question to ask when we’re in the future, this is what I want. This is what I deserve. Why? Why? Why? Let’s ask why. Emily Reagan 10:29 We’re talking about like asking yourself that question, right? Okay, yes, yeah, yeah, Mindi Huebner 10:32 Seven whys deep, like, this smart goal that I set 10 new clients at this retainer price. Okay, we’re just making things up, right? Emily Reagan 10:41 Yeah, exactly. I see this, like, rah, rah. Like, Yeah, gotta do it. I’m so wrapped up. And then you’re like, yeah, these are my goals. Mindi Huebner 10:48 So then we say, why? And we go, seven why’s deep on it? Because sometimes, in just that first questioning, we’re like, oh, actually, I don’t know. Like, it’s not clear to me. It’s not clear why this is my subconscious is not on board with this goal. I say I want it. Maybe this is someone else’s goal. Maybe this is what I have heard should be a good goal, right? 5k months, 10k months, 20k months, and so, okay, well, I’m gonna do that too, if it is not so compelling to me that I’m willing to show up more often than not in that identity. What happens I don’t make the goal, and I beat myself up, and I tell stories about why I can’t do it. See, here’s where I hate the question, why? Because you don’t get a good answer when you keep operating from a way that you don’t want to anymore. Instead of saying, Why do I keep doing that? Because immediately you’re going to tell yourself a story, and you’re going to say, because, think about, I you have kids. Why did you do that? Because, and then they tell a story, right? And I’m not saying the story is not true. It’s a story though, like it’s well rehearsed, yeah. And instead, we can say, What? What? What is causing me to feel stuck? What is causing me to believe that this can’t happen for me? When did I decide that I can’t have these things? How could I shorten this identity gap between who I am now and who I want to be. Emily Reagan 12:24 Oh my gosh. That makes so much sense. Of like, why? I mean, I just would blame myself and think, oh, since I didn’t make it a habit 21 days Mindi Huebner 12:34 Okay, okay, that’s a lie, right there. It’s just called bullshit, right now, the 21 days, there is no data in that someone said it sometime, and that’s that the actual data says at least 66 to 67 days is when you start to create those new neural pathways doing the habit repeatedly. The new habit for 66 to 67 days. Now you’ve created some new neural pathways. Now is the beginning of the habit, sticky, right? It takes 67 days, not 21 days. Like that’s not, that’s not scientifically proven in my research at all, like, when I’ve looked it up many times, that was just some arbitrary number, somebody, Emily Reagan 13:19 It’s not 6-7, had to make that joke. My daughter’s gonna love it. Mindi Huebner 13:26 Amazing. Yes, yes. Emily Reagan 13:28 So then, how do we get it to align? How do we actually achieve the goals? Because we know it’s possible. We see in this day and age, it’s all possible with our service provider businesses, Mindi Huebner 13:40 Yes. So there’s two, two paths we can take. The first path we can take is, who are we currently being? Right, like, like. We know that the goal is possible when we’re being the 24 karat version of ourselves, the person, the version that’s shed the conditioning, the one that it’s so compelling. She’s diving into a swimming pool of this outcome, and she can see it and hear it and feel it and taste it and smell it right like because your subconscious thinks in pictures and sounds and feelings. So we want to make it as visceral and as real in our mind as we can. And your brain also does not know the difference between real and imagined. So when we imagine ourselves being this version of ourselves feeling what it feels like to call in that client to do X, Y, Z, right? That ties it to our subconscious. We’re we’re then growing that subconscious identity. We’re flexing that subconscious identity of muscles so that it so it becomes more known and more familiar, as opposed to less known and less familiar, less predictable kind of thing. So one, we can either recognize who we’re being now, that can be the first path, or we can craft this new version of us. Either way, we’re going to also have to look at the other side of it. So we can look at the identity, what I call the success blocking identity first. And I’ve created a quiz. Yes for that, just based on the like the four common ones that I see, they’re like CEO survival identities, and there’s no shame blame in these. These were protections. That’s any identity, any habit, any way of showing up. They’re they’re a protection, right? They keep us in the predictable, the familiar and the known. And so we just look at it and go, Oh, okay, right, like we recognize that this is what’s happening. So the four different ones are the over responsible architect, the strategic achiever, the overextended CEO, and the high performing chameleon. And I’ll go backwards, the chameleon, her subconscious wiring, right, says belonging requires blending in. So she’s really good at reading a room and energy and picking up on what other people need, think, think some underlying people pleasing in there, right? However, that doesn’t allow her to honor her intuition or her boundaries, or like who she is authentically, and so it blocks that from happening to her, and so she’s quick and adaptable. You and I talked before. Here’s the thing about identity, when it goes from a superpower or something that serves you to a box that limits you. Now we got a problem right now we go, oh, let’s let’s change this, because this isn’t serving me anymore. Emily Reagan 16:28 What do you think that would look like as a service provider, like a freelancer? Mindi Huebner 16:34 Well, that would be taking on clients that really aren’t your ideal client number one, or projects that aren’t your ideal projects, or letting clients add to you know? And I will say that these are, while these are all identities that I have seen. Yes, you’ll be able to see yourself probably in all four of them, right? Like things about yourself. This is the chameleon. Specifically. She keeps things smooth. She doesn’t, she doesn’t rock the boat, so she’s she might not say, hey, that’s going to be an extra charge. Like, this is out of the scope of our work. Like, there’s going to be a fee for that. Like, any of those types of things is possible for her, right? Like, and again, all we’re doing is recognizing who we’re being currently. This is like a GPS, because there is zero shame in this and zero blame or guilt in this. This is like, okay, in order to program the GPS, we got to know where we’re starting from, yeah, so we’re just figuring out where we’re starting from, checking out some tendencies and some habits so that we could create some more empowered ones for us. Yeah. Starts with awareness. You have to know that clean awareness to ownership, to alignment. These are the first three steps to subconscious success, awareness, ownership alignment. So when we become aware of who we’re being, then we can own it. Oh yeah, I was sure was right like then we can move into alignment and look at what the path to alignment looks like. So the next one is the overextended CEO, and ultimately her subconscious links being needed with being valuable. So you’re not going to see her delegate. You’re not going to see her rest like she’s got to prove that she earns rest, right? And this is the one who built the dream and then kind of became trapped inside it, like all of a sudden now we we’ve made this thing, and instead of being freedom, it’s more like a prison, right? Emily Reagan 18:28 Yeah, I feel like we see that happening with some of the seven figure business owners who are now making it big and then feeling like a little bit trapped and stuck. Mindi Huebner 18:38 And I love that. Let’s just like bootleg on that for just a second, because I want to tell a client story about that. So those seven figure people as well. Are they outsourcing their authenticity as well? Because they’ve decided right that in order to be a seven figure entrepreneur, things have to look like this. They have to show up a certain way. Things have to be a certain way, right? Launches have to look a certain way, right? They kind of all start to look the same a little bit and no, hey, seven figures, no freaking shade to you. I love it, right? I am so happy for you. I have a client who was running a very successful business, high profit margins, high profit margins, working less than 25 hours a week. She wanted to hit a million dollars in revenue in a year. And said, but that’s not for me, because I don’t want to be like the seven figure entrepreneurs that I see. I don’t want to be inauthentic, which is what she felt like was happening. I don’t want to give up the freedom of my schedule. I don’t want there was more loss than gain in it, even though it was something that she said she wanted. Right one 15 minute session together, we untangled what she had made being that mean to realize that she gets to create the seven figures in any like she doesn’t have to outsource her knowing her power to anyone. She created a plan in three months, she had a million dollars. Emily Reagan 20:16 Oh my God! Mindi Huebner 20:18 That is how powerful our subconscious identity is and the meaning that we’ve given things, we get so tied to something that we don’t ever go back and revisit it. Just for her, that meant, ooh, in order to do this, I got to be like them. I don’t like them. I don’t want their lives, right? Like, I don’t want their lives, therefore I can’t have the spoils of their life, kind of thing. Emily Reagan 20:44 So this is so fascinating too, because everyone listening to the show has clients who are also going to be one of these archetypes, that they’re also going to have to kind of be on the backside supporting. And I think about that, the ones who a lot of clients are saying that same thing, you know that they don’t, they don’t want that image. Or, I know, for me, like, I don’t want to get so big that, like, I don’t know who my own people are. You know, it’s like, very like, important for me. And so it’s so interesting that, like, it could actually be holding you back, and you have no idea. Mindi Huebner 21:16 Yes, yes Emily Reagan 21:17 Sorry Mindi Huebner 21:19 It’s so interesting to me, right? We’re such intricate, complex beings, and all of those things come out of protection, right? That was a that was a protective thing. I don’t want to give up my time. I don’t want to give up what I have that I love already, and that feels like, here we go. That didn’t feel expansive, right? It felt constrictive. And so I’ll just stay here in this identity, because this identity is predictable and it’s known, and I’m making really good money, right? Like all of all of those things, Emily Reagan 21:51 I see this in the workgroup too. So I have a community of freelance marketers, you know, virtual assistants, marketing managers, and so many of them don’t market themselves well, and they have their tools. We have the tactics, and it’s beyond the cobblers kid excuse, right? And I see this group, and I want to help them, but also I know my zone of genius. And I’m like, I’ve done some confidence trainings, like we talk about it, but it’s like, I see, I see the people stuck, and that’s really why I have you here. I’m like, I know my people get stuck here, and it’s so much deeper than a training or a little, you know, stupid fucking pep talk that I do, which I is genuine and heartfelt, and I Mindi Huebner 22:31 Absolutely Emily Reagan 22:31 I see the power in them. I see how much business owners need their help and how good they are, but like they have to, they need to do this work to get out of it, and it hurts me to see that as their like unicorn mother. Mindi Huebner 22:44 You’re right. This is the work. It’s not another strategy, it’s not more marketing, it’s not any of those things. This is the pre strategy strategy, right? It’s getting clear on your identity, how you’re showing up, what your mindset is, your relationship with marketing, right, like all of that, in order to then really cast votes towards that next version of yourself. So let’s talk about the other two identities so we could keep going deeper. The strategic achiever this one loves a checklist. She thrives on precision. Progress meets every deadline, executes every plan, and her subconscious belief is her performance equals her worthiness. So this a lot of people, yeah, yeah. This is, I would say, I sat very squarely in here for a long time, the strategic achiever, really, as I say that, then I’m going to say she’s brilliant, she’s capable. She’s praised for her consistency. She’s praised for her consistency. Let’s sit there for just a minute too, because I still get praised for my consistency by outward people looking in now I have learned to turn that into power and into fuel, as opposed to it being this actual disempowering operating system of protection, right? There’s a switch that flips so that one, when we’re stuck in the strategic achiever, we can’t turn off the mental measuring stick. We don’t celebrate. We just recalibrate and move the goalposts like, Oh yeah, that was great. Let’s do it again. Oh yeah, that was great. Let’s do it again. So we’re we’re rarely fulfilled, right? We’re chasing the next thing and the next thing so that we feel worthy, because our performance is what feeds that worthiness. It’s a tough one. I know, Emily Reagan 24:44 Yeah, it’s that cycle. I don’t think you could get out of that if you’re not feeling fulfilled and you keep achieving Mindi Huebner 24:51 And when we’re getting that praise for our consistency, right? And we’re Yeah, what? What’s the problem? What’s the problem here? Well, the problem is. Also stops us then from taking time for ourselves, right, spending spending time in contentment over completing something or achieving something, right? Because we’re we’re doing that to have to have a business that serves us. And I think we missed the mark there too. That whole when we build a business based on something that serves us first, then we can call in the ideal client, so we can call in the ideal work that we want. When we’re building a business that serves others first, it can be difficult. It’s not impossible. It can be difficult to flip that around, right? When we’ve been the chameleon and our schedule is wide open and we don’t hold our boundaries and all the like, right? Like switching that, it requires more work. So knowing right now, wherever you’re at, knowing right now, recognizing the ways that your business is serving you, I like to, like, think about those, like, bright spots, right? Like a 24 carat sparkle, recognizing that and increasing that, we want to grow where it is serving you, so that the places that it isn’t starts to shrink, right? Like they’re not getting the spotlight, they’re not getting the 24 karat sparkle. So those will will shrink because we’re not feeding those, but we get to feed the places that are serving us, the places where we’re recognizing ourself, holding a boundary, standing in our power, being authentic, right? Saying what we what we need, what we need from the client, not just what the client. You know, is hiring us for. Okay, well, great, you’re hiring me for this. Here’s what you here’s your deliverables. You have to show up at this time. You have to get me the things by this deadline, like, right? All of that again. Here we are in leader, leader mode. Emily Reagan 26:49 I think most of us start our freelance, our service business for ourselves first. I don’t think anyone got trapped. I’m just, I’m just trying to think about that. But is there any indication that you might not be like that? Mindi Huebner 27:04 We right. We do start it for ourselves first, and when we aren’t clear about who we are, what we deserve, that our worth is not based in survival and performing, it starts to slip, and all of a sudden we wake up and we don’t have a business that looks like what we thought it was going to look like, or we’re firing clients now, or we’re doing X, Y, Z, and this is just part of business. We reinvent ourselves, we pivot, we do all kinds of things. So when we can say the foundation of my business first serves me, these are the hours I work. This is what I charge for, what I do. These are the kind of clients that I work for. When that vision is very clear, then we can have a business that serves us first, because we’ll right away go, oh, red flag, you don’t fit right inside there. We train our brain because our let’s just talk about our brain for a second, and then we’ll say the last archetype that I see in my work. So our brain deletes, distorts and generalizes based on our belief. I’m gonna say that again, deletes, distorts and generalizes based on our belief. If I believe that my worthiness is completely tied to my performance, I will get all kinds of proof of that, because everything else is going to be edited out. I want you to think about the massive amounts of data that are coming at you in a day, especially like in our current you know, everything accessible in the palm of our hand, the massive amounts of data your brain has to have a filtering system, more than one, it’s got a filtering system. It’s got to filter out stuff in some way. So it goes, Oh, these are the beliefs. We’ll use this as a filtering system. We’ll just delete anything that doesn’t match this. We’ll distort it. So they think, Oh, that was just a one off thing, right? Or we’ll generalize it so it fits their belief system, so there’s no Emily Reagan 29:07 Confirmation bias, right there. Mindi Huebner 29:11 Then we have our RAS a reticular activating system, and this, at a very basic level, brings you what you anticipate and expect. So if I anticipate and expect that my worthiness comes from my performance, again, I’m always winning the game that I’m playing. I’m always winning the game that I’m playing because your brain wants to prove you right. It wants to prove you right, and wants to keep you in the known and in the predictable. Your subconscious is wired for survival, not success, and so knowing all that, right, now we get to then, when we go towards who is the 24 karat version of us, and we get so granular with her that we can cast votes in a way that still feels safe, right? We can cast tiny votes so that we’re like, doing one more rep. When you think about being in the gym right, like we’re we’re, we’re going 1/10 of a mile farther on a run, we’re whatever, right, in this way we do that tiny little bit. Then we could call it a trick or a hack, if you want to, what you’re honestly doing is you’re stretching the subconscious identity muscle, is what I call it, and you’re stretching that known zone just a little bit, just a little bit. And when it’s granular, that way, it feels so much safer. And it also proves that 24 carat version of you and current version of you, when we are so clear on what she’s seeing, smelling, tasting, thinking, reading, who she’s talking to, what kind of perfume she’s wearing, what color lipstick is she wearing, right oh, I can wear the lipstick right now. I just shortened the identity gap. I can read the book right now. I just shorten the identity gap. I can create XYZ habit right now. I just shorten the identity gap. I may not have the million dollar business yet, if that’s what her, you know, dream is, or the 10 retainer clients, however, I can cast votes towards that version of her and shorten that identity gap up right now, like right now, I can start being her, even if I’m not fully embodied in her. I can start shortening that identity gap. Emily Reagan 31:28 I think about that with our freelancers, because I’m like, This is why we do the boundary flex. Do it now. Do it early, do it often, because you that’s exactly what this is. And I had no idea or saying no to the client, you know, is not a good fit. You’re getting the flags they didn’t bother to fill out the intake form all the way, like those little shifts, like, I’m sure we can come up with more. Mindi Huebner 31:48 But that one right there, yes, that one I love right there, because 24 carat version of you, right? Would never someone who didn’t fill out the form all the way next, right? And so you get to go, Oh, I could be her, right now, right? Emily Reagan 32:06 Challenge. Challenge accepted. What can you do right now? Mindi Huebner 32:11 Yeah, the first thing you can do is know who she is. Like, get so granular and so silly and so so that you’re diving into a swimming pool of her like you. You could see and feel and taste right. You can hear the keys clacking on the laptop as you send out a proposal to that big fish that you want. Right. You can hear what’s playing in the background as you’re sending that you can smell your little fortune candle burning. You can taste XYZ. You can feel so I’m at a standing desk right you can feel the ground underneath your feet. All of it your subconscious is pictures and sounds and feelings. Lock and load yourself like right now, so that you can cast those votes. Emily Reagan 32:57 And this is in your business and your life? Mindi Huebner 33:00 Everywhere. Emily Reagan 33:01 Okay Mindi Huebner 33:02 Everywhere, yes, yes. So let’s talk about the last identity, okay, the over responsible architect. So ultimately, her subconscious equates control with safety. So she is in control even when support is available, she hesitates to receive it. Receiving requires trust. You pride yourself on reliability, yet you resent how much you carry like, I know we can all, first of all, anyone, anyone who’s a mom, gets yourself in this calling myself out, yeah, like and I raised two daughters who also don’t ask for help unless it’s absolutely necessary. So if I’m asking you, better give it. Emily Reagan 33:44 I know, and I think, honestly, that’s where I shut down, is because I have asked for help in the past, and I have been shut down by certain people. But I actually think this is a lot of our clients, because we run into the micro managers who don’t let us fully step into our expertise. And I think this might be the client we’re dealing with a lot. Mindi Huebner 34:03 I love that these archetypes like that. We get to take them, to not think about ourselves, but we also get to put them right, like you were saying, yeah, and the clients that we’re working with, this is like using human design or Enneagram or anything else. It’s just a little insight into what’s happening. And so then you’ve got some tools, right? So are they equating control with safety? The micro managers, which I do not identify with at all, please take it and do it for me Emily Reagan 34:35 I’m always begging. I’m like, here’s the outcome I want. Please do it. I’m bad about setting deadlines and things, and I’m like, please do it, but when it gets turned in shoddy, then I start to lose my shi- Mindi Huebner 34:45 Well, of course, absolutely, absolutely, there’s this balance in here right between never asking for support and knowing that you’re worthy of support and that past people who let you down that doesn’t necessarily. Mean, that’s what’s going to happen in the future. We get to be more discerning about who we’re asking. Emily Reagan 35:04 Yeah, yeah, right. When you ask the right person, especially in your business. I’m just thinking of someone I brought on my team recently, blowing my socks away. It feels so good to be supported in this way, at this advanced level, and it’s just kind of showed me also it’s possible, and don’t dig to my team or anything, but I’m just like, yeah. Like, I’ve had gone through some teammates, and I know our clients have done that too, and we witnessed that with our peers. So it feels really good to have that level. It’s, I don’t know, it’s great. Mindi Huebner 35:36 Yes, agreed, agreed, and everyone listening, you’re so worthy of support making that decision right so that you can call that in, so that your razz anticipates and expects that you deem yourself worthy of support, you’ll start seeing areas where you’re willing to take support, and you’re growing that subconscious safety In being supported as well, so that it feels safe and predictable and familiar, as opposed to less safe, less known, less predictable. Emily Reagan 36:09 Well, I think about, I’m going to reverse meta that is that even a verb it is now, but some of us are getting to a point where we start subcontracting and like letting go of things in our business is hard, and we’ve done it for clients, and then turning around and doing it for ourselves. Mindi Huebner 36:23 Oh, yeah, yes, I love that. And what are we making it mean? See, this is so who are we being? Who do we want to be? What have we made things mean? And those three questions are sort of the crux, right of what have we made it mean to outsource something? So sometimes we’ve made it mean, like, really great things. We’re supported, we’re this, we’re that. Other times we feel like, oh, I have to put this out because I am a bad time manager, or I haven’t been able to figure this out. Like, how do I how do I do this thing, this tech thing, or whatever it is, right? What are we making things mean that allows us to then feel safer in being that version of ourselves too? Emily Reagan 37:08 Okay, one of the shifts I think about, and I preach a lot on this show, is going from worker be to like leader, right, the general. And so a lot of new virtual assistants like they don’t know they’re getting their feet wet, but there’s this pocket of people that we know. So what is that shift that’s required to be like a true leader within our within our lane, or our service, or whatever you want to call it? Mindi Huebner 37:33 Absolutely, I’m going to sound like a broken record. We’re going to go back to what would that 24 carat version of yourself like? First of all, who is she? Who is the leader, compared to the worker bee? So that we can start casting both and showing up like her more often than not, and so already, like a leader leads like Like, she says, this is the direction that we’re going, right? You’ve brought me this problem right? Here’s my here’s my diagnosis to what the solution is. So this is where I’m leading you. Now you may very well be the doer inside that too. You are though leading. You’re not asking the client, oh, is this? Is this the direction that you want to go? They came to you because they needed your direction. Yeah, like, already for 99% of the people, right? If not even even, and I’m not saying just a VA, even if it’s someone’s first time, they’re like, I need someone to come in and do this, they’re still, like, they they still need you to lead, even if they don’t say that, right? Like, because they can’t, they can’t do it. That’s why they’re hiring someone else to do it. They either don’t have the capacity, or they don’t, they don’t have the brain, right? They don’t know how to do it, or they don’t have the capacity to do it. Emily Reagan 38:57 I love thinking in this visual of like, casting little votes, like, even if you’re not ready to be like, here’s your entire strategy and business plan. But to me, leading could be as simple as booking the next client call like you’re the contractor. It could be, hey, here’s the metrics. Oh, and I see this pattern, or, honestly, quiet introvert Emily, you might not know about me. I never raised my hand in class. I always had the answer. Never raised my hand. But just learning to speak up or give my opinion, or I suggest. I’ve worked with both this tech. I’ve worked with this like those little those could be little votes casted towards Mindi Huebner 39:34 Those are huge! Micro shifts make massive change. Those are micro shifts adjust the things that you just said, I love that you instantly recognize what’s going to resonate with your audience. Like, very specifically that way, because they were all like, Oh, I do know the tech. I do know how to look at the metrics. Like, this is my lane, right? And you know it’s missing, yeah. And that would shift me into leadership from work. Be in there, like I just felt so much expansion for the people listening, right though they everyone just had, like, this huge breakthrough of when I’m clear on what leader version of me is, even if I’m not ready to 100% be her, I can start casting votes to bring her closer to me right this very second. Emily Reagan 40:22 Okay, I have another I know you’re going to be a broken record, so don’t hate me. But okay, I just love I’m getting up here. What about the freelancers who I’m not going to say whine, I’m not going to say whine. Want better clients, higher rates, more respect. But their daily actions are not matching up. Like, what would those vote casts be? Mindi Huebner 40:43 Yeah Emily Reagan 40:44 Cast in votes. How do I even say it? Mindi Huebner 40:46 Yeah, yeah? Well, there’s an identity misalignment there, just hands down. And if you know what to do, and you’re not doing it more often than not, there’s like, three sort of competing things going on. Some people would say you have a fear of failure. I think there’s more of a fear of success in there, because success is not known, predictable or familiar. Whatever’s happening currently is right, and so you know what to do, but you’re not doing it because you know how to be who you’ve been practiced being, and so that is just where you’re going to stay until something comes along. So there’s that identity misalignment. The third piece that’s inside there is you’ve decided there’s more loss than gain, actually, in being that version of yourself you have given meaning. You’ve either decided it’s actually going to take more time than you want, right to market differently, to whatever it is to have better fit clients, to have boundaries, you’ve decided there’s more loss than gain in setting a boundary, because now you know people are going to talk about you, or they’re going to judge you, or there are so many things that are happening underneath the surface there that are all stemming from protection, self protection, which shows up as self sabotage, because that’s knowing what to do and not doing it right and lovingly, it’s you’re self protecting. There’s that piece going on, right? And so what are you making? Getting the higher client, having the higher client, what have you made that mean? It’s more lost than gained. For you, it’s going to be it’s going to be more work, and you’ve decided that more work will then be more time, and then you won’t have time with your kids, or you won’t blah, blah, blah, or you have to learn a new skill, and, oh, you don’t want to learn a new skill, like the inner critic and the self protector, right? Those two Biatches inside our head, like they they want to keep us in the known. They’re really they’re like our frenemy, right? And and so that that inner critic is that that’s not your voice either. Please don’t think that is your voice saying you can’t You’re not good enough, you’re not smart enough, you’re not this enough, you’re not that enough. That is not your voice, that is conditioning, that is the world that is that is not you. You inner you, higher, you, 24 karat you knows better. You have everything that you need on the inside of you already, including the internal resource to ask for help in well. Emily Mindi, how do I break that pattern? How do I set up a system that helps me attract a higher level client? Because there are so many pieces involved that that that meaning that we’ve given that more loss than gain could be anywhere along along the path. And so you just start untangling it, like you start by casting votes, and then you go, Oh, that vote felt awful. Okay, what made that vote feel awful? Like? What was it about that? What had I decided? And we all experience this on a regular basis. I cast votes towards my 24 karat self that I don’t love all the time. And so when I cast them and I go, Okay, what am I making this mean about me? And lots of times, it’s because I’ve made it mean something about me that’s not it’s not true, right? Like it if I follow up with someone a third time. That doesn’t make me pushy, right? Like it makes me someone who follows up, right? Like, those types of meanings, right? If I don’t get it right the very first time, then you know that’s going to be it. That’s not true either, right? Like we’re humans, and if someone says, Oh no, you said this word wrong the very first time, then you’re not my human anyway. That’s the other piece of that we give so much meaning to things without revisiting. And when we’re casting votes and they feel stretchy or like then we get to go, huh. That’s so interesting. Who am I being? What am I making this mean? instead of shaming and guilting ourselves and and berating ourselves, Emily Reagan 45:06 That makes so much sense. And also, some of us just need lots of follow up Mindi Huebner 45:11 Seriously! Emily Reagan 45:14 Are there any I see that with, like, I said a proposal, and I heard nothing, and I’m like, this doesn’t mean anything yet, like, you don’t know the circumstances. Like we don’t know. We don’t have the facts. Are there any other clues that we might be shifting back into an old identity of like, anything that, like, maybe I don’t know. I just think about we’re working all day. We’re juggling our life. We’re doing the client work, we’re doing our business. I think it can be easy to maybe ignore, or not Mindi Huebner 45:40 No, totally. It can be easy to ignore, and if we’re not being super intentional, it can also be easy to revert, like you said. So one of the things I like to teach my clients is called the pink elephant habit mantra. So first of all, whatever you do, don’t think of a pink elephant. Don’t think of a pink elephant. Don’t think of a pink elephant. So 99.9% of people thought of a pink elephant. Our brain doesn’t hear. Don’t just negated that, right? Out of what I was saying to you, right? It just heard, think of a pink elephant. You’ve seen this, witness this phenomenon with small children, when you’re like, Don’t spill the milk, don’t trip boom, they trip over something. Although we’ve witnessed this phenomenon over and over again. I say that to say when an old habit, when an old thought pattern, when an old way of being wants to pop up awareness, recognize it, right, take ownership. Oh, I see you old habit, and then get into alignment. You and I broke up. This didn’t work out. I’m moving my attention to that’s the alignment so we recognize, we don’t pretend. We don’t go don’t think this thought. Don’t be this way. Don’t because all we’re hearing is think this thought, be this way. Try to pretend like it’s not there. We say, Oh, I see you. I see you past way of protecting me. I see you disempowered habit that I have let go of. I see you. It didn’t work out between us. Have a nice life and move your attention right, awareness, ownership. I see you. We said no to each other. Move your attention to and the alignment, moving your attention to the whatever we’re moving our attention to, gets to be more empowered than what we’re moving our attention away from. So it can be neutral. That’s fine. I love to actually have a couple things pre loaded to move my attention to. So if I know that, I lean back into right, performance equals worthiness, right the strategic achiever. If I know that that’s a pattern that I have, then what I would want to do is have a couple anchors, a couple things that I could move my attention to that remind me that that’s not true anymore about me, that it was never true that my worth was determined on performance, right? And so what are some anchors that I have that remind me of that? And it might be an essential oil. It might be a picture of a sunset on a trip that I took somewhere. It might be right, like a piece of jewelry that just I treated myself one time because it just was perfect for me, right? Like it could be any kind of anchor that we can move our attention to that allows us to recognize what was and we move our attention to notice it’s not necessarily the opposite of that either, right? We don’t always have to get to the other end of the stick. We can get to neutral so that we can just say, Yeah, I’m getting into alignment with something. Not this, right? Not this old way of being, not this old pattern. Is that, like, is that tracking? Are you picking up what I’m putting down? Emily Reagan 48:57 Yeah, and I kind of want to stir the pot, so just so we really get it. But how is this different than a reframe? Like, I’m thinking about, like, ever since I tore my ACL, I hate leg day, I hate lunges. I hate lunges, I hate leg day. And I Okay, that’s about it that. Well, it’s a good example. But I think about running, and I’m like, I’m jogging, and I’m like, I love running. I love running. I’m happy, healthy. I love running. It feels like, like a mask, Mindi Huebner 49:22 Yeah , no, no no Emily Reagan 49:22 I don’t feel it Mindi Huebner 49:24 Right, right? So I love a reframe, and that is different. That is trying to slap positive thinking on something. Is what you’re you’re saying to me, right? Yeah, right. Like, yeah, like, saying, Oh, I actually love this. So what we’re saying. So we’re recognizing the old way of being coming up, or the old habit of saying, I hate leg day. Okay, and you’ve actually decided you’ve done somewhere to say, Do I really hate leg day, or have I associated it with since I tore my ACL like there’s pain in this and it’s hard to do. And. Into x, y, z, so we get deeper into it. It’s not that I hate it, it’s that it’s stretching me. It’s that I would like it not to stretch me this much, because when I’m stretched this much, I feel like I’m failing, and when I feel like I’m failing, I’m not happy with myself, right? Like, see how I just went down this whole trail. So a reframe can come in when it gives us a new perspective, not not says that’s not true. Like, I go from I hate it to I love it because that’s not true, right? Like I love to run. I will run a half marathon again. I’ve run probably 10 or 12 of them. It’s been a couple years. I want to run another half marathon again before I have to hang up my running shoes right before my body goes you’re kind of old to me doing that right, or my knees, or whatever it is, you know what? I’ll never do. Run a marathon. I will never say, whoo. That sounds like a good idea. That sounds like a terrible idea to me. Yeah, I’ll run a half marathon. Like I’ll still be a runner, right? Like I don’t have to pretend to like something that is very similar. Emily Reagan 51:03 I’m in the same boat. I’m like half marathon, good, we’re good. Full marathon? No. Mindi Huebner 51:09 Never, never. Emily Reagan 51:10 I know my body Mindi Huebner 51:12 Exactly. I know my body as well. So let’s so let’s move back to that. Then we’re not talking about fake positive thinking, right? Or or unicorns and rainbows sprinkled all over something to make it palatable. That’s not what we’re talking about. What we are doing, though, is getting underneath the if I hate leg day is a belief, a thought that comes up often first, let’s go down that you think a thought over and over again, okay? It becomes a belief. It becomes an I am. I am a person who hates leg day, and then it creates body sensations, emotions and habits in us. So what happens then leg day comes and we’re like, oh, I don’t want to wear out every time leg day, right? I’m being obviously very dramatic. And we’re always winning the game we’re playing. So the more we believe, our brain is deleting, just starting and generalizing based on our belief. If we believe we hate leg day, you win. You win. That shows you how powerful you are, though, to an ownership of awareness of I’m having this belief that’s not serving me anymore. It does not serve me to hate leg day. That is a high emotion, right? Like it doesn’t serve me to hate leg day. Okay, great. I have this awareness ownership. I’m taking ownership of this that I’m no longer going to be the woman who hates leg day, moving my attention to being the woman who feels neutral about leg day, being the woman who could learn to include leg day without wishing that day was over more quickly, learning to can you see the difference? Yeah, so in who we’re being and how we’re giving ourselves space to expand, instead of this tight little lane that we have to stay in. And that’s ultimately what we all we all want choice. We all want to be able to choose. And so when we say, I hate something that’s very locked in and and I love that’s no right, like we’re not going from here, don’t believe it exactly, exactly. Which is why affirmations, when done in a very positive thinking complete flip flop like that do not work for most people, because everything in you is like that is a lie, right? Like that could be a whole other episode Emily Reagan 53:28 Because you’re well, because your identity- no wonder it’s a lie. Your identity is over here. Mindi Huebner 53:32 Exactly, exactly. Emily Reagan 53:34 Can we walk through one more example, and we’ll wrap it up? But I just I think about someone in my work group who says, I always get the craziest clients, like scammy worst clients Mindi Huebner 53:44 Okay, first of all, like, again, brain deleting, distorting and generalizing based on our belief we’re always winning the game that we’re playing, and our razz is going to bring us what we anticipate and expect. That does not mean that she is law of attractioning the worst clients to herself. What it does mean is she is unable to see better clients, a way to ask better questions. In my experience, this is what’s happening, right because the brain is deleting and because of the way the filters work. When we keep repeating something like that, we just keep getting more of that, because we cannot see the other side of it because of the filters that we have in place so we can recognize that in the past, in the past, I have attracted some fucking wing nuts, right, like the scammiest, worst clients in the past. Here’s a like a two for one, from now on in the future, next time, from now on in the future, next time, three phrases are going to become your new best friend. Yes. So in the past, I’ve recognized that the. Clients seem to find me, and they are not of the highest caliber and not who I want to work with from now on in the future and next time. Who can I be? What can I believe? How can I stand in my power to have less of that result and more of a result that I do want? So we’re not we’re not shaming ourselves either, like, oh, I only attract these clients. Like we’re actually our ownership is, is a reverse ownership on it even like that was, that was a thing of the past, right? I own that. That was a way that I believed in the past. And now, as I am looking to the from now on, in the future and next time, right? What is a new way of thinking in order to see better clients? Like, what are green flags for clients? And how can I be on the lookout for those instead? Because we’re always winning the game we’re playing. Emily Reagan 55:58 Okay and I think cast a vote. Add those green flag questions to your intake form. Mindi Huebner 56:03 Yes, yes. Exactly. Emily Reagan 56:05 Direct green flag questions Mindi Huebner 56:07 Exactly. Emily Reagan 56:08 Oh my gosh. This is so good. This is so fun. And I love that we went deeper than than what I’ve covered here, and it’s really going to help my community. I tell you, it’s hard out there. It’s hard to do the work, it’s hard to promote yourself, it’s hard to balance it all. And there are so many mind tricks in the online space anyway, like comparing the inner critic, not you know, the overwhelm that’s happening, the sales that are down, that it’s really easy for everyone to start kind of going off the deep spiral there Mindi Huebner 56:43 Spiraling, yeah. 100% 100% yes, definitely. And I, I appreciate being able to be here and share my absolute obsession with helping high achieving women rewire their brain and shed the conditioning that keeps them not getting what they want, or they have what they want, and yet they know there’s there’s something even more, right? There’s a sustainable there’s an expansion that they haven’t cracked the code on yet, because that pattern keeps showing up to speak to the overwhelm as we write like one, take the quiz. Get a little insight into you know what pattern could be showing up blocking the success that you truly deserve and desire. And two, if overwhelm is starting to creep in, besides from now on in the future, next time being your new best friends, overwhelm is our inability to stay in the present. So we get overwhelmed when we’re living in the past, or when we’re living in the future, and when we’re at the 90,000 foot view. So when we are present and intentional and focused, overwhelm dissipates, not saying it goes away completely, however, it allows us to come back into the present and focus on what is at hand, as opposed to that, that, that, that, Oh yeah, that bad thing happened there. Oh, there’s some 87 things that have to happen there. And what about this thing off to the side? Like, yes, yeah, yes. That is overwhelmed, like we’re and we’ve all been in that place. And so when we can go and come right back in and just laser down in, how you eat an elephant one bite at a time. There’s a reason that people say that is because it’s the truth, right? Eventually, you will get through the elephant in a whole, and you’ll feel better at the end than, you know, trying to eat the whole thing at one time. Emily Reagan 58:33 Yes, lots of elephants on this episode. Mindi Huebner 58:37 I know it’s wild, isn’t it? Yeah, we’ll have to look up whose spirit guide that is, oh, well, someone who’s listening. Emily Reagan 58:46 Okay, so we’re gonna link to your quiz. Everyone go take it. Tag us both on Instagram if you feel like it, if you want to share. We’d love to know, I would love to know what my audience is actually made of. Like, where are my freelancers falling? And again, I see myself in each one, yes. I’ll know which one I am? I take it too, and then Mindi, if we know we need help unblocking, unlocking, how do we work with you or and also our clients? Sometimes it’s our clients that we’re referring. We’re like, hey, Mindi Huebner 59:13 Absolutely. Emily Reagan 59:14 Like, this is some deep stuff we need to do. Mindi Huebner 59:16 Yes, yes. So the first thing is really easy. It’s a 15 minute identity alignment call, we hop on a call, free call, you answer a couple questions. For me, one of my superpowers is recognizing what pattern is running the show and how it’s blocking you. And then we talk about what it could look like for you to shift out of this pattern, micro shifts that you can make. And if we like each other, then we can talk about doing deeper work together. So there’s no obligation on the call. It’s really an awareness that gets to happen because remember, awareness, ownership, alignment, and I can help you with those first couple steps. Emily Reagan 59:52 Okay, amazing. I’ll link to your call page, your work with me page for someone to grab that to get that call. That’s awesome. Thank you. Thank. You for sharing that with us. Okay, this has been such a pleasure. Love you to death. I’m so glad we finally did this, and I just want to say Happy New Year to everyone. I really hope this episode kicks you off in the right way, breaking some patterns here and really being your 24 karat self. 2026 here it comes! Okay, I feel like we just need to breathe for a minute after that, Mindi really gave us the language for the things we felt for years. You know, the big takeaways for me were that our identity and that awareness, it shapes our behavior, the big things I want you to walk away as a marketing freelancer without rehashing everything, identity shapes behavior. You can’t just positive think it. You have to retrain your subconscious, and it’s not easy. Hello. So if you have felt stuck, this is why, and I hope this unlocks a lot for you, whether you’re the helper, the performer, the peacekeeper, also, your brain is filtering for what you expect, that confirmation bias. So if you believe that AI is going to replace you, that you only attract bad clients, or that you’re not worthy of working for the good clients, your brain will literally purge and delete evidence of better ones, and it’s absolutely wild. So be aware of how your brain is tricking you and this idea of micro votes. What are things you can do to step into that next version, that 24 karat version of you as a service provider, the one who is the go to expert, the one who clients come to her, the one who holds the power. I gave you examples of how to build in leadership and pass these micro votes for that. What are other things you can do with your service so from now on, in the future, next time those phrases are gold, I hope you use them moving forward into 2026, I hope you let go of old patterns that are keeping you under charging and feeling stuck. And I really want this podcast to be your go to to getting out of it. And more than just a rah rah, more than just the marketing tech. I’m really looking at you as a human, as a person. I know that sometimes we need more, sometimes we do. So take that quiz, figure out your pattern, but go ahead book that 15 minute free session with her, that identity alignment session. There might be something that really unlocks for you, awareness, ownership, alignment. It all starts right here. Happy New Year’s friends! Here’s to casting your next vote to your 24 karat self in 2026. I’ll see you in the next episode.