My Real Big Fat Fear that is driving my WHY

My Response to the James Wedmore & Julie Solomon Podcast

I am a podcast nerd. I spend way too much time every day in the car driving my four children to school & daycare and have this super long route that takes me through the back woods, er, palm tree nurseries of south Miami where I have plenty of time and space and no cellphone reception to listen to & learn from & be entertained by podcasts!!!!!

I love listening to: Planet Money, Serial, Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me, Young House Love and then there is the business podcasts that I LOVE … so many of them!

The problem with podcasts is they not two-way conversations. I listen to them learn something amazing, have wonderful A-HA moments and then do NOTHING with it. I take it all in and sit there alone wanting to TALK ABOUT IT!!!!

So now my teammate Deb and I share and talk about our favorite podcasts and lessons learned and strategies we can implement for Team Reagan. Recently she told me I needed to listen to James Wedmore’s #257. I had no idea what I was getting into… I want to use this blog to unpack it from a very real world VA biz standpoint.

His guest that week was Julie Solomon. I have heard of her before and even emailed her team, but shamelessly admit I hadn’t listened to her podcast or consumed any of her content YET. She was on my radar. But when I saw James’ title for this podcast I was NOT tempted to listen AT ALL. So really really want to point it out to YOU in case you are a James Wedmore fan and yet the word “Surrender” also makes you not want to listen … HA! (maybe that’s just me!?!?!)

As I listened, I saw myself in Julie’s narrative. Albeit, I’m her highly-less attractive personality doppelgänger!!!

What we have in common:

  • Journalism Degree
  • Public Relations work background
  • Mommy
  • Wife who moved for her husband’s career
  • Didn’t start off wanting to JUST MAKE MONEY in the industry, but honestly wanted to help women
  • Over-achiever
  • Workaholic tendency
  • Has fear of doing NOTHING
  • Wants to “fix’ everything
  • Likes to poke fun of the people on Instagram who are just selling LOL
  • Great Hair, just like Becky

She was amazing. It was NOT a sales pitch podcast (Which I’m so sick of!) It was a conversation that I felt a part of. She stripped down everything she was working for and why she was working so hard with one extremely vulnerable personal growth acknowledgement: HER FEAR.

Goodness, even successful people have fears they are working through.

That’s liberating when I REALIZE IT. When I HEAR IT.

She’s killing it in the real world. But her work drive comes from a fear. And understanding and accepting it, acknowledging those feelings is where the true growth lies. Duh, surrender. Does this sound cliche? Listen to it first, trust me.

It made me think about my fear.

Besides the obvious: earning extra income and needing brain engagement, why am I striving to work so hard to build a digital business when I could just live a comfortable life at home. Why am I doing this to myself? Why am I stressing myself out? Working late into the night? And taking on clients’ troubles? Why am I overanalyzing my course and giving it my all?

After an extremely helpful therapy session, I will cut to the chase.

I have a fear of not being important. Of being forgotten.

As a military brat I grew up moving every few years. Always leaving friends… schools…. teams … communities… and neighborhoods. As a military spouse, I’ve left so many jobs… and clients.. and now my children’s friends and teachers and teams. And it’s so hard for me to leave. I know the world will keep on turning without me. It’s a bit egotistical, I realize. But I want to know I will be missed.

That I made an impact.

And with clients I want to feel important, valuable, and worthy. I want to HELP THEM make an impact and impact their business. And if that sense of value isn’t there, I just don’t enjoy working with that client.

So fast forward in that therapy session and we talked about how I already am important and impactful to my family, kids and friends. But I can also see how I LOVE helping my friends get jobs that impact their lives. I feel so good about that. I have a lot to work through. I am getting ready to move AGAIN, and I’m totally sad about leaving AGAIN. (Because I’m counting that’s 12 moves in 17 years of my husband’s career.)

But — I am not leaving my JOB! For this move, like the previous two, my job is coming with me!!! So my clients are shifting around, and the type of work I am doing is becoming more of my own work and less client and billable-hours based work. But I am NOT sad about that. Praise the Lord, I found a job that comes with me.

The Takeaway

If you are a VA or business sidekick/project manager/task master: Know what drives you. What is your WHY? Why are you working? If you want to make an impact ..that’s totally cool. (SO DO I!) If certain clients leave you empty inside… think about the WHY. Know yourself.

If you are a client: Take care of your team. Value and appreciate your team’s ideas, contributions and sacrifices. If you don’t get to know them and partner with them they won’t be the kind of teammates who stay with you to help you grow your business.

That is my James Wedmore woo-woo for the week. I hope it helps you in your journey!

And I encourage you to check out his Mind Your Business podcast … and share your thoughts with me! DM me on IG @emilyreaganpr

-Emily, Digital Media Consultant (and Virtual Assistant …)

I met James a year ago at Tribe, I felt like I already knew him because my client had him on her podcast…that I had helped promote. When I was listening to the unedited interview James discussed the entrepreneurial mindset and really laid the mindset IN ME TO BE MORE … Listen here:


I have a Facebook community for digital media VAs. Come join us! –>

Where to Get Started Online

I have a list of 10 virtual job tasks for you here…. this will help you get started in the online space and let you in on exactly what clients coming to me are asking for help with and willing to pay a VA for… take a look!

If you’re interested in learning more about what I do as a social media manager, digital marker and virtual assistant helping small business owners remotely, please fill out this form here and I’ll tell you more.

Further Reading

The One Thing I Should Have Done to NOT GET FIRED

6 Things I Learned from the Speakers at Kajabi’s Impact Conference

4 Things You Need to start a Digital Marketing VA Biz

How I became a VA {Virtual Assistant & Social Media Sidekick}

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Emily Reagan is a jill-of-all trades when it comes to digital marketing and techie skills. She’s worked as a behind-the-scenes digital marketing implementor and strategist for a decade for online biz owner clients.

She’s a mom of four, Air Force wife, and founder of the Unicorn Digital Marketing Assistant School, where she teaches smart women the in-demand, highly-coveted digital marketing skills to get flexible, online work.

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